Sunday, August 26, 2012

Julia Child I Ain't



Years of trying but it never took
The fact remains I hate to cook

Given my druthers on what I prefer
To others my stove, I would gladly defer

Not that I can't cook and bake
I make a to-die-for chocolate cake

Hubby likes that cooking stuff
Elaborate prep? He can't get enough

Peaches for cobbler he is blanching today
and he's roasting some garlic in a dish made of clay

Some sort of pasta sauce he is apt to prepare
With graters and blenders he has quite a flare

So to his heart's delight my hubby cooks
Meanwhile me? I'll be writing my books

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Parallel Parking Blues

Some basic skills I do not got
At some simple stuff I really rot

Parallel parking's one of those
This is how it always goes

I find a spot that's larger than life
And gear up for inordinate stress and strife

Toward the curb I steer the car
But from the curb I am far, far, far, far

I climb back in and steer some more
Closer I must be, I'm fairly sure

Oops, I hit it, bumpity bump
And feeling like a stupid chump

I check around hoping no one's looking
And climb back out to see what's cooking

On the sidewalk my back tire sits
I conclude yet again that parking's the pits

If the tire's not flat I give up and drive away
And say to myself that at home I should stay

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Aplomb-less

I handle life's challenges with zero aplomb
To every little issue I quickly succumb
And start screaming bad words at the top of my lungs

The coffee's too weak, and the cereal is soggy
I need gas in the car and the weather's turned foggy
And I haven't thought of a poem for my stupid weekly bloggy

The battery's gone dead on the kitchen clock
And I can't find the match to my most favorite sock
And my brilliant idea the boss just summarily blocked

These types of traumas put me over the top
And make my blood pressure do the opposite of drop
Even when I take a deep breath and tell myself to stop

I do yoga and long walks for some zen-ish insight
To which my foul moods say "Get serious. Yeah, right!
Now you're all sweaty and your hair looks a fright."

Yes, other people seem way more well-adjusted
In patience and sanity they seem to be encrusted
I wonder, can these people really be trusted?